…Humming Quietly To Myself… Do you ever feel as if you are being watched? I sometimes suspect that normal people are always watching me and act as if they are not. I have proof.
This morning as I went about my businesses, yes my businesses. I noticed something very weird. Weird from ‘our’ point of view. I was walking down Bunyala Street with nothing important going on in my mind, as always and every time I passed near a car in traffic the driver would roll up the window.
At first I did not see anything strange in them rolling up their windows but when every other driver did it, even you would be concerned. Is it something about me? My looks, my clothes, my smile (well my smile out loud or rather my outspoken smile), my shoe? Looking at myself, I couldn’t see anything wrong with how I look!
Clearly, there had to be a reason why the drivers were rolling up their window when they saw me. I looked behind and I was alone! What’s worse, all the drivers rolled up the windows and looked straight ahead. I could tell they were looking at me from the corner of their eyes but even conversations in the cars stalled until I passed.
Honestly think about it. You have locked your doors and windows but you are caught up in traffic. You have no where to go! You know what I thought initially? Nothing. Well of course later I screamed at one of the drivers but the heap of garbage dint seem to give the reaction I was looking for. Delayed reaction. It happens to some of us. Normal people call it procrastination. You get the same results.
If you missed your child’s final year presentation that you promised to attend, if you said you are sorry when your spouse caught you cheating a third time, if you never reconciled with your parents before they passed on, well, you and I have a similar challenge. Its called delayed response. I can live with mine. I have been. Can you?
Back to drivers rolling up their windows. I don’t know what kind of threat I am associated with but normal people fascinate me. I am referred to as a mad man. I could be. Why? I talk to myself, I lose control of my thought patterns, I at times put my life in harms way (crossing the road without looking), I can be violent, see where am going with this? No? Me neither.
So lets look at the drivers response when they saw me minding my businesses. What did they fear I would do to them that they are not already used to? I hear and see a lot of things but I also forget. Fast. That’s why you see me heading in one direction then suddenly, I turn and go back to the direction I was coming from. I forgot why I was going where I was going before I turned to go back to where I was coming from. I know, right!
You are a dad, you get home and your children are laughing and playing around. You get home and its like you have mute super powers. The kids become quiet, gloomy and head to their rooms or worse, to the kitchen to hang out with their mum! (If she is around that is. “Aunties” as you guys call them have taken this role quite extensively. Ask me. I hear and see things, and forget).
You are a mum. You have had a long day. Deadlines at work, assignments in school, drama with that ‘kalady’ at the reception and not to forget other biological influences right? You come home and your husband, the father of your three kids (I hope. Remember, I hear and see things, and forget) is seated quietly reading the newspaper or better still has opened the up the TV with screws lying everywhere.
Never mind the kids playing, screaming and running around the house doesn’t bother him as long as they respect dads “holy ground” well except for the son who is pestering him with pleasant questions about what this and that does. I could go on with that one for a while. So, mum, for whatever reason, you start talking in third person “people in this house” and you go on at it the whole night. Your kids avoid you and your husband goes out to the local pub for further research on his new book “keeping quiet for dummies”.
You are a young person… no that one will drive me crazy! Ha-ha. Drive. Me. Crazy. Get it? No? Me neither.
You are the boss and you get into the office, the atmosphere changes and everyone suddenly looks busy, working. (on their Google chat)
I find a lot of similarity in what normal people do when they see a mad man, and what they do when they see a normal person everyday! They roll up the windows of their lives. They see you but they want some sort of separation from you. Anything. It may not be effective but it does make them feel safe. Away from you, while you are still there!
Wouldn’t it be crazy though, if you one day tried to say hi to that mad person! He might just surprise you with a normal response. Or not. But you were prepared for that because you knew he was crazy. Wouldn’t it be crazy if we rolled down our own windows and stopped hiding behind fragile boundaries? Wouldn’t it be crazy if you did something really crazy and worked hard to make sure that people rolled down their windows any time they saw you?
Yes. That’s crazy. But what do I know. Am just a Mad Man.